Eat Your Heart Out, Drew Brees

The other day, I thought I had a great analogy for a mom who's child has some delays in certain developmental areas. My analogy was so great, I thought, that I found the need to repeat it when the dad came home. You know that feeling you get when the awesome thing that you have to say does not get the response that you are looking for? This is what happened to me. Its not that they didn't like what I had to say... it was just awkward timing (which is something I'm working on). Note to self- when dad is home and  mom is chasing kids around, trying to start dinner, probably time to leave rather than going on about random metaphor that only impresses myself.

Anyways, in hopes that someone will like what I had to say, I'm gonna share it again. Basically, without being too specific, the issue at hand had something to do with the kiddo's processing delay and communication challenges that sometimes inhibit him from being able to advocate for himself appropriately when another kiddo (or sibling) snatches a toy away from him, inevitably leading to a fist fight. Because the kiddo has decent verbal skills (albeit the processing delay) and a strong capacity to engage in pretend play, I suggested that he is given time to practice problem solving and better communication by acting some of these situations out in dramatic play with one of his parents. My analogy was this...


The other day on the Ellen show, FB quarterback Drew Brees shared that during the week before a big game, he mentally puts himself in the position of being a touchdown behind with 2 minutes on the clock and plays out what it will take to win the game. He says that he does this several times a day during that week so that if he actually finds himself in that position, he won't have to think about what he has to do and can just react automatically.

I thought this was a great analogy and very fitting with my recommendation to the parents- put your kid in the position to play out how to best respond to a challenging situation so that he will be able to more efficiently respond when the actual challenge presents itself.

Now, thank God I will never be in the same unfortunate position as Drew Brees, earning millions of dollars each Sunday to throw a football at very specific and fast-moving targets, and will therefore never have to withstand the pressure of coming back from a 7 point deficit with 2 minutes on the clock, but I think his technique can apply to me (and most of us) in our own lives. I think the key is probably figuring out what aspects of your life or job make you feel most vulnerable to defeat and then game-planning as much as possible so that, when those situations present themselves, you are more likely to succeed.

In my own life, I think this boils down to probably more things than I'd like to admit, but most obvious to me right now is my tendency to overcommit. I really don't say "no" to very many things (although my grad school advisor always pointed out that when you say "yes" to one thing,  you're saying "no" to another). My terrible ability to plan and organize my life probably at least partially contributes to this tendency, in that if I don't have my weekly planner right in front of me (which is a likely scenario), I have no visual cues that the decision I am making will 1) drive me crazy; 2) create a last-minute childcare fiasco; and 3) be a very bad, self-defeating decision. So, today when I received a message from a professor asking if I'd like to jump on board a research project, rather than calling him straight back and agreeing haphazardly to do it, I gave myself time to think about what I'd say. It was actually nice to plan it all out in my head (and while I was at it, I threw a few touchdown passes too), so that when we actually spoke over the phone later on in the evening, I was prepared with questions and stipulations (well, not really stipulations, but it makes me sound tougher to say that).

All in all, I felt like I was able to advocate for myself better because I am learning how to gain more respect for what my needs and wants are, just like that kiddo. The main difference is that I'm almost 30 years older and just now learning this lesson, a lesson that my friend Jamie (who you might remember from my previous post) might also want to learn.